Sometimes, Presence is easily dropped into and relaxation and equanimity are accessible. It is easy to see through the illusion of the world.

Other times, thoughts of being done wrong or blame or elaborate stories of what might happen when I confront so-and-so are so vivid and real. It only takes a perceived slight or a touch on an old wound by another person and our minds will declare WAR.

Some wars rage on for years, fueled by old stories of hurt, disappointment, keeping score in relationships, expectations unmet, beliefs in the way things should be.

So how to stop the internal war that is the cause of all wars everywhere? All wars start with the same blame, sense of disconnect and personal identification, and belief that“I’m right and you’re wrong” that is found in our own hearts.

Here are a few suggestions: First, take a deep breath. And then a few more. Slow down. Internal war causes our adrenaline and cortisol to surge much like being literally physically attacked.

Admit that you are at war. Don’t then turn the fighting and drama against yourself or your ego. No blaming, shaming, “why do I always do this?” allowed. Just the facts. “I am at war.”

Then, find the emotion. In war, it often feels like anger, and when we look deeper, it can be things like hurt, humiliation, despair, terror. Find the real emotion.

Now instead of resisting the emotion, feel it. First, feel it while telling the story. Here is the important part—next feel it without continuing to tell the story that feeds it. Just feel the emotion.

Finally, it is often very helpful to do some inquiry—Byron Katie’s four questions plus the turnaround can be very useful.

Forgive yourself—awakening is a process. War is part of the human condition. Bravely turning to face the wars that rage in your own heart is the beginning of world peace.