Blog

17 12, 2017

The Paradox of Hope

According to Merriam Webster, the verb “hope” means: to cherish a desire with anticipation. The noun is: the feeling of wanting something to happen and thinking that it could happen; a feeling that something good will happen or be true.

Two teachers of mine, both of whom I respect deeply, make different distinctions about hope.  Lucid Living (a powerful collaboration between Leza Danly and Jeanine Mancusi), describes hope as a beautiful, expansive, feminine energy, “a genuine expectation of a positive future.” I love this defining of hope as an uplifting conduit of possibility, vulnerable in its wanting and confident in […]

10 12, 2017

Knowing Your Range, Growing Your Range

One of the thing I love most about the work I do (coaching, training, therapy) is that it requires tremendous range. Each client, each session, each course, each moment requires something different from me, and I must be fully open, awake, present, and flexible. There is no one-size-fits-all possible in the work of digging deep with human beings, of being in the space of the now with other.

It is the best use of someone like me, good at a little bit of this and a little bit of that, a dabbler, a dilettante. One very generous descriptor I read […]

4 12, 2017

Begin with Failure

Several times a year, I teach a course called Fundamentals, the first of five 3-day, in-person, experiential workshops that train participants in the method and model known as Co-Active Coaching.

Coaching is a particular way of communicating that involves deep listening, asking questions, lots of curiosity, and other skills that most people believe should come naturally and easily. However, for the majority of people coming through the door, they don’t. They are high-level, complex skills that must be learned and practiced and practiced some more.

By the middle of day 2, there is inevitably some frustration, some self-judgement, some despair from […]

9 01, 2017

Uprooting Creativity

Creativity has always been a loaded word for me. Being creative was something that I aspired to, but it somehow felt like it was only the purview of the naturally talented.

I made bad grades in art. I was too uncoordinated and rotund for dance. I was lauded as a good writer and even won some awards for short-story writing as a kid. I loved retreating to my room and letting the pen fly and the words flow. I read and wrote poetry daily in middle and high school.

When I went to college, I took my first poetry-writing course and […]

28 10, 2013

Letting Yourself Off the Hook

One of the universal aspects of the human psyche is the internal voice known as the Inner Critic, the Saboteur, or the Gremlin.
This voice feels at times like it is speaking the Whole Truth about us, but actually it is one very narrow, critical perspective that is usually born out of our childhood experiences (thanks, Mom and Dad), even the happy ones.

The Inner Critic’s role is to keep us safe, and it takes this role seriously. 

It operates from a place of fear, is overly careful, and is often downright cruel.  It says things like:

“You sound so stupid/You’re an […]

28 10, 2013

Daylight Savings Ends: Making Peace with the Darkness

The sun-starved days of November and December are mentally and emotionally draining for many of us. After the short-lived initial elation of gaining an hour of sleep wears off, you may feel lethargic, grouchy, sad, or unmotivated. If you are a nine-to-fiver, you commute to work in the dark and emerge from your energy-saving-flourescent, often windowless office into the icy twilight. Here are some tips to stave off the winter blues and celebrate this time:

1) Eat Right, Feel Light: As tempting as it is to attempt to boost serotonin and other neurochemicals by gorging on chocolate, bread, french fries, […]